When Trauma Lives in Your Body, Not Just Your Mind
Trauma does not only live in memories or thoughts. It often shows up as feeling on edge for no obvious reason, going numb or noticing yourself shutting down in conflict, or having a calm life on paper while your inner world feels like a storm. You might understand your history quite well and still find your heart racing, your stomach clenching, or your sleep being disrupted as if the danger has never ended.
Talk therapy can be incredibly helpful for making sense of your story. Yet many people tell us, “I know why I react this way, but my body still freaks out.” That gap between insight and embodied safety can feel confusing and discouraging.
This is where somatic therapy in Ontario comes in. Somatic simply means “of the body.” It is an approach that gently includes your nervous system, body sensations, and survival responses in the healing process, not only your thoughts and emotions. As Bessel van der Kolk describes in his work, our bodies keep the score of what we have lived through, often long after our minds think we “should be over it.”
This aligns with Gabor Maté’s book, “When the Body Says No,” which also explores how physical symptoms are tied to emotional stress. Because many of our clients specifically look for Gabor Maté-trained professionals, almost all our therapists are trained in his modality, Compassionate Inquiry, to support this deep level of embodied healing.
Instead of asking “What is wrong with me?” we invite you to get curious: your body has been adapting, trying to protect you, why the pain and discomfort. When you feel triggered, where do you notice it first? Your chest, your stomach, your throat, your jaw? What happens to your breath? These questions are the starting point of somatic healing.
What Somatic Therapy Really Means for Trauma Healing
Somatic therapy is therapy that includes your body in the conversation. We pay attention to:
- Breath and how freely or tightly it moves
- Posture and how you hold yourself when you feel scared, angry, or small
- Muscle tension, numbness, or shakiness
- Your overall nervous system state, from shutdown to alert to connected
At Soulful Therapy, we weave somatic work together with approaches such as Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, NARM, Expressive Art Therapy, Parts Work, Compassionate Inquiry, inner child work, and spiritual psychotherapy. The blend is always shaped with you, your history, and your capacity in mind.
Some simple but important concepts often show up in sessions:
- Body awareness: gently noticing sensations without rushing to change them
- Nervous system regulation: helping your body come back toward steadier states after stress
- Co-regulation: using safe connection with another person to calm your system
- The freeze response: when your body goes still, blank, or numb instead of fighting or running
- Ventral vagal: a scientific term from Stephen Porges’ work that refers to the state where you feel safe enough to connect, be playful, or rest
There is no right way for your body to respond to trauma. For some, it is anxiety and restlessness. For others, it is collapse, exhaustion, or feeling “far away.” Somatic therapy is not about forcing you into a particular state. It is about collaborating with your body’s own wisdom and timing.
Equally important, somatic therapy is not about reliving trauma. It is about safely reconnecting with your body at a pace that feels workable. You set the speed. Consent, choice, and emotional safety come first.
How Trauma Shapes Your Nervous System and Body
Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory offers a helpful way to understand what trauma can do to your nervous system. In simple language, your body has several main modes:
- Connection: when you feel relatively safe, present, and able to relate
- Fight: when your system gears up to protect you with anger or aggression
- Flight: when you want to escape, avoid, or constantly plan an exit
- Freeze: when your mind goes blank or your body feels stuck
- Shutdown or collapse: when you feel heavy, foggy, or “not fully here”
Trauma can leave you stuck in one of these survival modes, even when there is no current danger. You might notice yourself snapping at loved ones (fight), always needing a backup plan (flight), zoning out in conversations (freeze), or feeling disconnected from your own life (collapse).
The impact is not just emotional. Trauma can show up as:
- Chronic neck, jaw, or shoulder tension
- Headaches or migraines
- Digestive discomfort or nausea
- Sleep difficulties or nightmares
- Feeling outside your body or unreal
The hopeful piece is that your nervous system is plastic, which means it can change. Healing often involves gently teaching your body that it is safer now than it was then. As Bessel van der Kolk and Brené Brown both highlight in different ways, healing is less about “being stronger” and more about feeling supported, regulated, and connected enough to let your guard soften.
What a Somatic Therapy Session Can Look Like Online
Many people are curious or nervous about online somatic therapy in Ontario. They wonder if it will still “work” without being in the same physical room, or worry about doing it wrong. It is completely okay to bring those worries into our first conversations.
A virtual session with us might include:
- Checking in not just with “how are you?” but “how is your body right now?”
- Gently noticing your breath and posture in the moment
- Grounding through your feet on the floor or the support of your chair
- Orienting to the room you are in by slowly looking around and naming what you see
- Placing a hand on your heart or belly if that feels calming
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy can be adapted for online work as well. We might use bilateral stimulation through eye movements on the screen, tapping, or alternating sounds, along with small, mindful movements to help your body process traumatic memories without flooding you.
We also often invite parts work and inner child work. You might notice different “parts” of you, such as:
- A protector part that gets angry or shuts down
- A pleaser part that smiles and says “I’m fine”
- A scared child part that holds old fear or shame
Somatic awareness lets you sense where each part lives in your body, and how it wants to be acknowledged. Together, we listen with compassion rather than trying to push any part away.
Throughout all of this, pacing is everything. You have full permission to slow down, pause, or say no to any exercise. We check in with your words and your body’s cues to find what feels safe enough.
Finding Somatic Therapy in Ontario That Fits You
If you live anywhere in Ontario, online therapy opens up more choice. The main guideline is that your therapist needs to be registered to practise in Ontario in order to work with you.
When you are exploring options for somatic therapy, you might look for:
- Training or experience in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Compassionate Inquiry or similar body-focused modalities
- A clearly stated trauma-informed approach
- Comfort working with dissociation, anxiety, or relational trauma
- A style that feels grounded, kind, and collaborative
It can help to treat an initial meeting as a mutual interview. Notice your own cues:
- Do your shoulders drop even a little?
- Does your breath feel a bit less tight?
- Do you sense that your emotions are welcome, not too much?
Common worries about starting trauma therapy include fear of being overwhelmed, of breaking down and not being able to function, or of being judged. A skilled somatic therapist will respect these fears and help titrate the work, which means doing it in small, manageable doses instead of all at once.
At Soulful Therapy, we weave Compassionate Inquiry (inspired by Gabor Maté), somatic approaches informed by Pat Ogden’s work, nervous system science influenced by Stephen Porges, and the vulnerability and shame resilience language popularized by Brené Brown. Our intention is a heart-centred, grounded space where both science and soul are welcome.
Beginning to Listen to Your Body’s Story
Before you move on to the next thing today, you might try a brief somatic check-in. You can do this right where you are:
- Notice your breath, without changing it. Is it shallow or deep, fast or slow?
- Scan your body from head to toe. Where do you feel tension or holding?
- See if there is any place that feels even 5 percent softer, warmer, or more spacious.
If you recognize yourself in what you have read, nothing is broken in you. Your body has been doing its best to keep you alive with the tools it had at the time. With caring support, it is possible to gently update those old survival patterns so they fit your life now.
Next steps do not have to be big. You might journal about what you notice in your body when you feel stressed, learn more about somatic therapy in Ontario, or simply keep returning to that small question, “What do I feel in my body right now?” Healing is often a series of small, supported moments of coming home to yourself.
Take a Compassionate Next Step Toward Healing
If you are ready to gently reconnect with your body and move through trauma at a pace that feels safe, we are here to walk alongside you. At Soulful Therapy, our approach to somatic therapy in Ontario is grounded in warmth, curiosity, and respect for your lived experience. Reach out to contact us and begin exploring what healing can look like for you today.
Warmly, Laura Farberman