Hearing the Quiet Whispers of Your Inner Child
Sometimes the days feel lighter and longer, but inside you feel heavy. You might be on vacation, sitting in the sun, and suddenly feel like crying for no clear reason. Or you notice yourself snapping at someone you care about, then feeling confused and ashamed after. Part of you thinks, “My life is fine, what is wrong with me?”
Nothing is wrong with you. Often, these moments are younger parts of you speaking up. In somatic and trauma-informed work, we call this the “inner child.” It is not a gimmick. It is a simple way to talk about the versions of you that lived through early experiences and still carry memories, emotions, and unmet needs.
As Bessel van der Kolk writes, the body keeps the score. Old hurts can show up now as tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, a nervous stomach, or the way you pull away in relationships. When talking about it feels too sharp or hard, expressive arts psychotherapy can offer another way to listen.
You might notice this inner child most in moments like:
- When you feel suddenly much younger than your age
- When you shut down in a hard conversation
- When you lash out, then feel very small after
When do you feel like that younger version of you is running the show?
What Your Inner Child Is Really Trying to Tell You
In parts work, we speak about “parts” inside you that show up differently in daily life. You might notice:
- A curious, playful child part
- A scared or shy child part
- A protector part that gets angry or numb
- A perfectionist part that tries to keep everything under control
Gabor Maté writes about how early experiences shape our nervous system. If you had to be “the good kid,” stay quiet, or stay very alert to stay safe, your body learned patterns that made sense at the time. Those patterns can keep running now, even when your life is different.
Some signs your inner child might be activated:
- Big reactions to small conflicts
- Trouble saying no or setting limits
- People-pleasing and then feeling resentful
- Shame spirals that arrive out of nowhere
- Feeling like you “freeze” or go blank in conflict
These are nervous system responses. In trauma work, we often talk about fight, flight, freeze, and fawn:
- Fight: snapping, arguing, or getting very defensive
- Flight: wanting to leave, distract, or scroll endlessly
- Freeze: going numb, spacing out, or feeling “not here”
- Fawn: pleasing others to stay safe or liked
These responses once kept you safe. Today, they might show up at family gatherings, summer barbecues, or group trips, when old memories get stirred.
When you feel small or overwhelmed, pause and ask: Where is this in my body? Do you feel it in your throat, chest, belly, or limbs? Instead of treating these sensations as problems, what if they are messages from a younger you?
You are not too sensitive or dramatic. You survived with the tools you had. Those younger parts are trying to protect you.
Why Expressive Arts Psychotherapy Helps You Feel What It’s Like To Be Seen
Expressive arts psychotherapy is a way of using art, movement, writing, sound, imagery, and sometimes play to explore your inner world. It is not about being “good” at art. It is about giving your inner child more ways to speak than words alone.
Neuroscience supports this. Stephen Porges, through polyvagal theory, describes the ventral vagal state as a place of safe connection and social engagement. Gentle creativity can help your system move toward that state, where it is easier to feel and think at the same time.
Clinicians like Bessel van der Kolk and Pat Ogden remind us that trauma lives in the body and in implicit memory, not just in thoughts. Somatic and expressive practices can reach places that talking sometimes cannot. Your hand drawing, your body swaying, or your voice humming can reveal truths your thinking mind has been guarding.
Try reflecting on questions like:
- What comes up if you picture painting your anger?
- If your loneliness were a shape or texture, what would it look like in clay?
- How would your body move if it could show your anxiety slowly, in very small steps?
In a trauma-informed online space, we move at your pace. Safety, choice, and consent matter. You get to decide how deep to go, when to pause, and when to stay with lighter, resourcing practices.
Simple Creative Practices to Meet Your Inner Child
These practices are gentle starting points, not a replacement for therapy. You can stop at any time. If anything feels too much, pause, look around the room, name five things you see, and feel your feet on the floor.
Practice 1: Summer Colour Check-In
Take a blank page and some colours. Ask yourself: How do I feel today? Choose colours that match, even if they do not “make sense.” Let yourself:
- Scribble
- Smudge
- Layer
Then ask:
- Which colours feel like the younger me?
- Which feel like the adult me?
Notice what happens in your body as you draw. Any softening, tightening, warmth, or buzz?
Practice 2: Non-Dominant Hand Letter
Using your non-dominant hand, write a short note as if your inner child were speaking. Do not worry about spelling or neatness. Then, with your dominant hand, write back as a caring adult part of you.
You might:
- Validate: “Of course you feel scared, that makes sense.”
- Offer comfort: “I am here with you now.”
- Offer boundaries: “You do not have to handle everything alone anymore.”
This is a form of self-co-regulation, where one part of you offers steadiness to another.
Practice 3: Gentle Movement Story
Put on one calming song. Let your body show just one emotion with very small, contained movements. You might:
- Slowly turn your head
- Sway your spine a little
- Shift your weight between your feet
Pat Ogden’s sensorimotor work speaks to how movement can help complete unfinished defensive responses and open new options in the body.
With each practice, pair it with simple regulation tools:
- Feel your feet on the ground
- Look around and name what you see
- Take a longer exhale than inhale
Ask your body: What is a yes for today? What is a not yet?
Working with a Therapist Who Welcomes All Your Parts
In an online, somatic, expressive arts psychotherapy session, we might begin with a gentle check-in about how you are arriving. From there, we might choose together:
- To talk and track body sensations
- To use simple drawing or imagery
- To include movement or sound, if that feels right
We stay curious about what shows up in your body, emotions, thoughts, and images. We make meaning together, at a pace that respects your nervous system.
Co-regulation is central. Sitting with a grounded, present therapist can help your body slowly learn that it is safe enough to feel and express. Brené Brown writes about how shame needs secrecy to grow, and how empathy can soften its grip. Being met with warmth when you share something you once hid can be deeply healing.
At Soulful Therapy, based in Ontario, we weave trauma-informed lenses from Gabor Maté, Bessel van der Kolk, Stephen Porges, and Pat Ogden with soulful exploration: dreams, symbols, and personal meaning-making.
It is common to worry about being “bad at art,” about crying on screen, or not knowing where to start. Those are protective parts trying to keep you safe and in control. In therapy, those parts are welcome too.
As summer sometimes offers a bit more space, you might quietly ask yourself: Is there room to turn toward what has been waiting inside? What might shift if your inner child felt truly listened to?
Stepping Toward Yourself with Curiosity and Care
Your inner child is not a problem to fix. This part of you is longing to be heard, felt, and accompanied. Expressive arts psychotherapy is one gentle path to that deep listening.
If it feels okay, place a hand on your heart or belly right now. Ask inside: Is there a younger part of me that wants my attention? Then simply notice any sensations, images, or emotions that arise. There is no right answer.
From here, you might try one of the creative practices above, write a few lines in a journal, or keep sitting with this question. Only as much as feels possible for you today.
You do not have to walk this inner path alone. When you are ready, support can meet you where you are, at a pace that honours every part of you.
Warmly, Laura Farberman
Begin Your Healing Journey With Creative Support
If you feel ready to explore your emotions in a gentle, creative way, our expressive arts psychotherapy sessions can offer a safe space to begin. At Soulful Therapy, we work collaboratively to help you slow down, reconnect with yourself and move through what feels stuck. Reach out to contact us and we will help you determine whether this approach is the right fit for your needs.