When Anxiety Feels Like Too Much to Handle
You are lying awake at 3 a.m. again. Your heart is pounding, your mind is racing ahead to worst-case scenarios, and some part of you is thinking, “I should be able to calm down by now.” Maybe you have tried breathing apps, podcasts, or all the usual “tips,” yet your body still feels like it is on high alert.
Anxiety can show up in so many ways:
- Constant overthinking and replaying conversations
- Tight shoulders, clenched jaw, buzzing energy, or trouble sitting still
- Stomach issues, restless sleep, or waking up already tense
- Irritability, snapping at people you care about, or shutting down and going numb
If talk therapy has helped you understand yourself but not really changed how your body reacts, you are not alone. Anxiety is not a personal failure or a character flaw. It is a nervous system response that often has deep roots in past stress or trauma, including the quieter “small t” experiences like criticism, emotional distance, or feeling unseen.
As summer settles in across Ontario, there can be extra pressure to “feel lighter” and “enjoy the warmth.” When anxiety does not magically soften with longer days, shame can grow. So here is a gentle question: if your anxiety lives as much in your body as in your thoughts, could a body-based, somatic trauma therapy approach be a better fit?
Understanding Anxiety as a Nervous System Story
Anxiety is often your nervous system trying very hard to keep you safe. In simple nervous system language, we might think about:
- Fight: feeling edgy, angry, snappy, or defensive
- Flight: staying constantly busy, productive, or unable to rest
- Freeze: feeling numb, spaced out, or too tired to care
Stephen Porges, who developed polyvagal theory, talks about how our nervous system shifts between survival states and what he calls social connection mode. When anxiety is high, your system may be stuck in survival. Your body is acting as if danger is right here, even if your logical mind knows you are “fine.”
Bessel van der Kolk, in his work on trauma, often repeats the idea that “the body keeps the score.” This means your body holds memories of what you went through, especially when those experiences were overwhelming, confusing, or lonely. So:
- Anxiety that spikes on Sunday nights might be a body memory of stress from school or work
- A racing heart after conflict might be linked to earlier experiences of yelling or criticism
- A freeze response around certain people might echo old patterns of needing to disappear to stay safe
If you grew up needing to be hypervigilant, perfect, or always “on,” those patterns likely helped you survive at the time. Your anxiety might be your nervous system saying, “I do not feel safe,” even if nothing obvious is “wrong” right now. Healing, then, can be less about “fixing your thoughts” and more about helping your whole system, body and mind, feel safer.
What Somatic Trauma Therapy Actually Is
Somatic trauma therapy is simply therapy that includes your body in the healing process. “Somatic” means “of the body.” Instead of focusing only on thoughts or stories, we gently notice sensations, breath, posture, and small impulses to move.
This might sound a bit strange or “woo” at first, but it is actually grounded in neuroscience and attachment. Many modern trauma approaches pay close attention to the nervous system, because that is where so much anxiety lives.
Some of the approaches we use at Soulful Therapy include:
- Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, informed by Pat Ogden, which invites you to notice subtle shifts in your body, like a tightening in your throat or a pull to lean back, and lets these cues guide the healing work.
- Compassionate Inquiry, developed by Gabor Maté, which helps you explore your inner world with curiosity instead of judgment, connecting present-day reactions to early beliefs and experiences.
- EMDR, which uses bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, to help your brain and body reprocess overwhelming memories so they are less likely to trigger intense anxiety.
In somatic trauma therapy, your therapist will often invite you to slow down and track what is happening in your body in the moment: maybe a flutter in your chest, a collapse in your shoulders, or a freeze when a certain topic comes up. Together you learn ways to come back to a sense of “grounded enough”; instead of getting swept away.
If talking about anxiety has sometimes made you feel more stirred up, this kind of work can offer another path. We do not need to push into your hardest stories. We can stay with what your nervous system can hold right now.
How Somatic Trauma Therapy Can Support Your Anxiety
Somatic trauma therapy does not erase anxiety overnight. What it can do is help your nervous system become more flexible, so anxiety is no longer running everything in the background.
A session might include:
- Slowing down and naming sensations like warm, cold, tight, tingly, or heavy
- Tracking your breath and gently inviting small shifts, like a longer exhale
- Grounding practices such as pressing your feet into the floor, looking around the room, or placing a hand on your heart
- Noticing what happens in your body when you talk about work, family, or relationships
There is also something called co-regulation. When your therapist sits with you in a calm, attuned way, your nervous system slowly learns what “safe enough” can feel like. Attachment research and the work of Brené Brown on vulnerability and connection both point to how healing it is to be truly seen and not judged.
We might also work with “parts” of you:
- The anxious part that plans for everything that could go wrong
- The critic that says you “should” be coping better
- The younger parts holding fear, shame, or loneliness
Instead of trying to get rid of these parts, we get curious about how they tried to protect you. Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Maté both speak to how healing involves body awareness and relationship. As the old survival patterns are seen and honoured, your symptoms often soften.
You might ask yourself: What would shift if my body did not need to be on high alert all the time? How might summer evenings, social plans, or quiet weekends at home feel if there was just a bit more internal space?
Signs Somatic Trauma Therapy Might Be Right for You
Somatic trauma therapy might be a good fit if:
- You feel anxiety clearly in your body, like a racing heart, tight jaw, knots in your stomach, dizziness, or feeling frozen and checked out
- You understand coping skills in theory, but your body still reacts like it is in danger
- Talk therapy has helped you make sense of your story, but your patterns have not really shifted
You might also notice trauma-related signs such as:
- A sense that your anxiety is linked to past experiences, even if your memories are fuzzy
- Growing up with emotional neglect, criticism, addiction, or constant unpredictability
- Struggling to trust others, let your guard down, or stay present in your own body
For some people, there is also a spiritual layer. You may sense there is a deeper part of you beyond anxiety, something wise and soft that is longing to be seen. Spiritual psychotherapy can gently explore this side of you without pressure or dogma.
It is completely okay to feel both drawn to somatic trauma therapy and scared to try something new. Anxiety often gets louder right at the edge of change. A helpful self-check might be:
- Am I curious about feeling safer in my own skin?
- Am I open to exploring, at my own pace, how my body might be trying to speak to me?
At Soulful Therapy, we meet with individuals and couples online across Ontario, which can be especially helpful if leaving the house or commuting adds to your anxiety. You can stay in a familiar space while we do this tender work together.
Gently Stepping Toward Support That Fits You
You do not have to decide right now if somatic trauma therapy is right for you. For the moment, you might simply notice what parts of this conversation stirred something inside. Maybe there was a sense of relief, or maybe a bit of fear, or both. All of that is welcome.
If it feels okay, you might pause and check in with your body right now. Is your jaw tight? Are your shoulders creeping toward your ears? Could you let them drop just a little? Not forcing anything, just testing what “2 percent softer” might feel like.
Journaling can also help you listen more closely to your anxiety. You might ask: What does my anxiety seem to be protecting me from? If this anxious part of me had a voice, what would it say it needs right now? There is no right answer, only your honest one.
As the days stretch a bit longer in Ontario, many people feel a quiet pull to create a bit more ease inside, not because they “should,” but because some deeper part of them is ready. Somatic trauma therapy is one way to honour that pull, gently and at your pace.
Begin Healing With Gentle, Body-Centred Support
If you are ready to move beyond coping and start truly healing, our somatic trauma therapy can help you reconnect with your body in a safe, grounded way. At Soulful Therapy, we work with you at your own pace so you can release stored stress and build new patterns of safety and resilience. Reach out to contact us and schedule a time to talk about what you are experiencing and how we can support your next steps.
Warmly,
Laura Farberman